I AM NOW STAGING A COUP D’ETAT (THIS ONE ISNT FINANCED BY THE CIA, SO IT WILL FUCKING SUCCEED) AND DECLARING MYSELF AS THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF TUMBLR.
NEW LAWS REGARDING POSTING:
- IF YOU POST ANYTHING WITH TEXT OVER A SPACE BACKGROUND THAT ISN’T ABOUT SCIENCE FICTION, ASTRONOMY, OR SPACE MARINES, YOU WILL BE FUCKING MURDERED
- IF YOU POST MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS, YOU WILL BE FUCKING MURDERED
- IF YOU POST DESIGNER CLOTHING AND ASK YOUR FOLLOWERS TO BUY IT FOR YOU, YOU WILL BE FUCKING MURDERED
- IF YOU POST ANY ESOTERIC HARRY POTTER JOKES THAT AREN’T REALLY AMUSING UNLESS YOU’RE A FANATIC OF A FUCKING CHILDREN’S BOOK THAT WILL NEVER MEET THE STANDARDS OF HIS DARK MATERIALS OR ENDERS GAME, YOU WILL BE FUCKING MURDERED
- IF YOU POST ANYTHING RELATING TO CHUCK PALAHNIUK/BUKOWSKI THAT IS NOT NEGATIVE, YOU WILL BE FUCKING MURDERED
- IF YOU POST THINGS ABOUT WEED (ESPECIALLY JUST PICTURES OF IT) MORE THAN ONCE A DAY, YOU WILL BE FUCKING MURDERED
- IF YOU POST ANYTHING THAT ATTACKS ABORTION, FEMINISM, SOCIALISM/COMMUNISM, OR GAY RIGHTS AND DON’T HAVE A FUCKING MINDBLOWING ARGUMENT TO BACK IT UP, YOU WILL BE FUCKING MURDERED
- IF YOU POST THINGS ABOUT ALIEN OR BLADE RUNNER, IT IS MANDATORY THAT EVERYONE ON TUMBLR LIKES IT AND GIVES YOU A HIGH FIVE
THIS IS INSTITUTED IMMEDIATELY.
STAY VIGILANT, PALAHNIUK LOVERS.
Please call 911 in the event of any real death threats.
