purplehaze890 said: It's time for bed, story time?

Next Adult Bedtime Story event will be Aug. 22nd at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, OR.  It’s to help launch Chelsea Cain’s new series ‘One Kick.’  Be there.  Wear your pajamas.  I’ll pelt you with candy and severed arms.  We’ll have fun.  Ticket will be on Ticketfly and should sell out quickly.  

Plane’s landing, got to go.   Thanks, chuck

Anonymous said: I want to convince my mom to take me to see you on your book tour but she barely approves of Fight Club, god knows what she'll think of Beautiful You!

You already know the truth.  ‘Beautiful You’ would kill her.  You do the math.  Do you want a dead mom? 

Anonymous said: do you let people hug you

Such behavior is not encouraged.  I was exposed to the guru Leo Buscaglia’s culture of hugs in the 1980’s and have been hugged enough for one lifetime.  That said, a decent handjob is never inappropriate. 

Anonymous said: Did you intend the narrator and Tyler to have homoerotoc subtext?

Of course not.  You can’t have sex with yourself!   Are you crazy?  ( wink-wink )


You’re very welcome!  ( signed Chuck’s assistant — NOT )

Anonymous said: I'm working on the third or fourth rewrite of a screenplay I'm working on and I'm wondering, how do you motivate yourself when you're going back to material that you've already written multiple times? I just feel like I'm hitting more roadblocks mentally than I did my first few times around.

I feel your pain.  You’re describing the stage where I used to shave off all my hair as proof to myself that nothing in the current project was sacred.  My way past that lag is to radically ramp up the plot, adding a shocking subplot.  In ‘Beautiful You’ my final addition was a subplot involving a couple named Yuri and Brenda — it’s hideous and contains some of the most offensive images I’ve ever depicted.  So, my advice?   Salt in no more than ten pages, a few here and there, but have them weave a radical minor story into the existing screenplay.  Doing so will revive your passion for the whole project.

Anonymous said: Hey, Chuck! Now that I've found your tumblr, just thought I'd let you know something about me. When I was in high school, I chose a portion "Guts" for a dramatic reading competition my class was having. In the end, I was suspended for three whole weeks. It was 100% worth the experience, after seeing our football team gargle on their stomach bile for a while. Thanks for being so great!

Ouch, sorry about the suspension.   I’ve heard from teachers who were censured for putting my work on their supplemental reading lists.   Funny to think that books are still banned.

statesofmate said: Write a one sentence love story between two inanimate objects. Bonus points if they engage in coitus.

I’m not your bitch.  You write it.  

anemotioninmotion said: Is there any reason other than tattoo potential for the dragonfly cover? Dragonflies are my spirit animal and I'm so exciting seeing one on my favourite authors new cover. In awe of you from Australia

In ‘Beautiful You’ the dragonfly is a stealth tool for dominating the world.  It’s a very malevolent symbol.

chelskavitch said: Chuck!! I asked this already but no response, so hopefully tomorrow you'll answer... In Lullaby, what is the significance of the pieces of the models stuck in Carl's foot? I don't understand that part for the life of me, but it's still one of my favorite novels. You've changed my life, man. I wish I discovered your books sooner. Thank you for keeping me company on the worst of days.

Do you remember the film “My Own Private Idaho” specifically the odd insert shot of a ramshackle house being dropped from the sky and destroyed?    With the plastic model houses, I wanted to demonstrate that Streater had wrecked his own happy home.  He’d killed his family, and he was punishing himself with this symbolic torture. 

There’s an old writing trope:  “If you don’t know what comes next, describe the interior of the character’s mouth…”  It always adds something extra when you go on-the-body by describing a sensation that will evoke a sympathetic response in the reader.  The sole of a foot seems as sensitive as a mouth, so the Streater foot torture also acts to pulls the reader, physically, into the story.  Okay?  Okay.